A practical one-to-one alternative to mediation.

Conflict by its very nature involves more than one person but there are lots of reasons why a traditional conflict resolution strategy, like mediation, isn’t the right fit at the moment.

Some of the scenarios I’ve encountered since becoming a mediator include:

• A person isn’t ready to mediate but wants help clarifying their options
• They’ve tried mediation but it didn’t have a productive outcome
• The other person is refusing to participate in conflict resolution
• The person wants to see their own side of the conflict more clearly before escalating
• The person is carrying the exhaustion of feeling in conflict, but they aren’t actually sure whether it’s coming from one person or multiple sources.

In those circumstances, a process called Conflict Management for One (CM-1) is worth considering. It’s not mediation and it’s not counselling. It’s a coaching session designed to help you make sense of what’s happening and choose your next steps with confidence.

What actually happens in a CM-1 session?

It’s more flexible than mediation, which tends to follow a set structure. CM-1 does have a structure to begin with, but the direction of the session is more client-driven than mediation. Most people leave with something tangible like a short action plan, clearer language to describe what they’re experiencing, or a written summary of insights from the session.

During the session I’ll typically help you work through three shifts:

From past to future. The past matters because it explains how you got here. But staying focused on the past usually keeps you stuck. We want to uncover what you actually want next.

From positions to interests. When conflict gets entrenched, people will bunker down or race to the top of a hill they seem determined to die on (figuratively speaking of course). CM-1 helps you dig deeper to uncover your actual interests in terms of needs, values and maybe even fears. That’s usually where the options start to appear.

From pain to peace. Conflict has a real cost that shows up as poor sleep, strained relationships, and depleted confidence. CM-1 doesn’t gloss over that. It works with it. When you can start to think more clearly about the future and what you actually need, the path forward becomes more visible even if the conflict still exists.

A couple of things worth knowing

As with mediation, CM-1 starts with a brief intake and suitability check. Conflict can involve safety concerns, and it’s important to make sure the process is the right fit before you start. I’m not a mental health practitioner and if I feel something more specialised is needed, I am happy to help you find it.

There’s also another important boundary. If the matter does proceed to mediation I won’t act as the mediator if we have done CM-1 together. This not only ensures impartiality, but it also means that I am genuinely focused on supporting you through CM-1 rather than setting up a future process.

Is CM-1 right for you?

If you’re sitting with conflict and you’re not sure what to do next or you just want to think more clearly before you take another step, it’s worth a conversation.

CM-1 offers a calm, practical way to get unstuck and see a way forward.

David Wise is a mediator and certified CM-1 facilitator. To arrange a confidential discussion about your options, book a preliminary call by emailing davidw@businesshq.org.au